RandBall

Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could convince the world to love jumpsuits as much as he does. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.

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TFD: Vikings reportedly received $187.7 million in national revenue last season

Posted by: Michael Rand Updated July 10th at 5:13pm

One nice thing about the Packers is that because they sell worthless stock to 360,000-plus duped shareholders, they are a public team — the only one in the NFL — and must disclose their financial records.

This allows us to know the national revenue they pull in — which is the same for all 32 teams. Per Darren Rovell:

The Packers said they received $187.7 million in national revenue, which is mostly derived from the league’s television rights. The Packers’ total represents 3.1 percent, or 1/32nd, of the overall pie.

Packers president and CEO Mark Murphy said the national revenue rose 4.3 percent from last year due in part to new carriage agreements with the NFL Network and additional revenue from Nike, the league’s official uniform provider.

So yes, the Vikings also made $187.7 million in revenue strictly from national sources. The Packers made $136.3 in local revenue; we don’t have the Vikings’ local number, but suffice to say: this reiterates that there is massive money in the NFL.

What if Twitter existed: Bud Grant's first season coaching the Vikings in 1967

Posted by: Michael Rand Updated July 10th at 2:49pm

randmid_1403705018_maddogIn case you missed last week’s series debut, we had this idea: create a series of posts based on events in the past and imagine how they might have “blown up Twitter,” as the kids like to say, if Twitter had been around then.

You gave us several very good suggestions for ground to cover. The next step was coming up with a format, and we decided on this: creating a cast of fictional mostly Minnesota-based Twitter characters, with fake tweets, to cover the event.

We decided a fun one would be the 1967 Vikings, who went 3-8-3 — yes three wins, eight losses, three ties — in Bud Grant’s first season as head coach. This absolutely would have happened. Don’t deny it:

Overreacting Vikings fan, Part I: Send this Grant guy back to Canada. #worthless

Overreacting Vikings fan, Part II: At least they got rid of Tarkenton before the year. That guy was a bum, too. #goodriddance

Jon Marthaler: This team is doomed. We’ll never make it to the playoffs, let alone the Super Bowl. I’m finished.

Sarcastic Vikings fan: I’ll always remember Nov. 5, 1967: I was at the only home game the Vikings won all season.

Guy who thinks he knows about football because he played in middle school: I don’t like the tackling angles Eller and Marshall are taking. Not sure these guys are going to pan out. #busts

Guy who tries to make it funny but you’re never sure if he’s also kind of creepy: Another tie?! I’m tired of kissing my sister! (Or am I?)

Understated negative guy: We played 14 games. We scored 10 points or fewer in 7 of them. I’m thinking that’s not good.

Amateur play-calling guy: Run on first down. Run on second down. Pass on third down. Punt. Repeat. #genius

NFL is not for me guy: Vikings? Who cares? The Gophers won the Big Ten. This is a college football town. #skiumah

Please feel free to add more in the comments.

RandBall's Stu guest post: After the huge crane leaves, what's the next big thing at new stadium?

Posted by: Michael Rand Updated July 10th at 12:09pm

negavomIn case you somehow missed it, RandBall’s Stu, a longtime commenter here in these parts, was recently hired by American Public Media/MPR as a digital producer. This is awesome, and it also means he gets to use his real name, Steve Neuman, when doing all the fine work he does.

That said, pretty much everyone we know still calls him Stu. He has crafted a piece of fiction for us on the next big things to hit the Vikings stadium site after the huge crane leaves.

As always, remember this is satire. The characters, products and scenarios presented within are fictional.

Steve/Stu?

—-

Monday saw the arrival of one of the world’s largest cranes to help build the new Vikings stadium.  Once its work is done, the Negavom Group’s job is just beginning.

The Minnesota Sports Facilities Authority is expected to announce a partnership later this week with the Dallas-based company, which bills itself as the “premiere (sic) vomit and stadium detritus removal firm in North America.”

Thad Johnsrud, Negavom’s founder and CEO, says he’s thrilled to be a part of the new “people’s stadium.”

“We started this company with a pressure sprayer and a cash-only gig at the Oklahoma State Fair.  Now, we’re working with our fourth National Football League team.  It’s a dream come true.”

Johnsrud says that Negavom is uniquely qualified to handle the workload provided by a fan base that can sometimes get overenthusiastic about its tailgating.

“Today’s modern fan vertical is predicated on 12-15 domestic beers, 2-4 mixed drinks, Jell-O shots, tenuously cooked red meat, salty snacks and probably some tussling with friends or fisticuffs,” says Johnsrud.  “This is before they get through the turnstiles.  The Vikings recognize that some of these fans aren’t going to be able to keep all that down for three or four hours.  That’s where we come in.”

The company’s website claims that on an NFL Sunday, they’ll have 200 response agents at the ready with “next-gen” water cannons, mops, shovels, disinfectants and moist towelettes.  The number grows to 350 for mid-afternoon starts and 500 for Sunday or Monday night kickoffs.

“Oh, man, the night games are like one long Mr. Creosote sketch,” says Johnsrud.  “We have a saying in the business: an empire in decline is our time to shine!”

The MSFA is also expected to hold a Friday press conference to announce the hiring of Ken, an artisanal soft-serve ice cream consultant, to develop the stadium’s sundae and twisty cone concepts.

Thursday (Cris Carter in other receivers' business) edition: Wha' Happened?

Posted by: Michael Rand Updated July 10th at 9:43am

carterFormer Vikings WR Cris Carter has never been shy about talking, whether it was on the field or now that he is retired and working in television. It is also a well-known fact that Carter struggled with substance abuse early in his NFL career, a fact that helped lead him to the Vikings, where he not only salvaged his career but became a Hall of Famer.

With that as a backdrop, Carter was asked recently about Cleveland WR Josh Gordon, a talented player who is struggling with similar issues as Carter did early in his career.

Carter encouraged the Browns to cut Gordon; another outspoken former NFL WR who has had substance abuse problems, Michael Irvin, didn’t like that. He talked not only about that on the radio this week, but also dropped a revelation about he and Carter that goes back many years.  From a Palm Beach Post transcription of Dan Le Batard’s ESPN radio program:

Dan, this is a brain disease. Addiction is a brain disease. You know, we act as if someone should…How can you make that decision? You must be stupid. He’s not. That’s why they call substances dope. Because it makes you less intelligent and you make the poor decision. It’s a brain disease. And it affects everybody differently. Dan, I was so hot when I heard it. I was so hot.

Oh, but wait, there’s more:

[Carter] said to my wife – he said to my wife –you know, Michael would never come out of this problem until you leave him. Till you leave him. For years, I’ve held it. I’ve never shared that with anybody. I’ve never in my life shared that with anybody. I was so irked with Cris because he was out of line then. His [redacted] is out of line now.

To recap: Carter thinks the Browns should cut Gordon to help him out. He also apparently told Irvin’s wife to leave Irvin if she wanted to help him out. Get all three guys in a room and we’d have some real interesting conversations.

TFD: Former USMNT star Claudio Reyna and the EPL trophy were in Minnesota

Posted by: Michael Rand Updated July 9th at 5:18pm

epltrophy reyna - CopyA modest gathering at Nomad World Pub in Minneapolis was getting prepared for Wednesday’s World Cup semifinal between the Netherlands and Argentina.

Soccer fans lazily sipped beers in the afternoon sun, chatting about Tuesday’s 7-1 Germany stunner over Brazil, when a large black SUV pulled up and two icons of the sport emerged to bring them to full attention: former U.S. men’s national team star Claudio Reyna and the English Premier League trophy won this year by his former professional team, Manchester City.

Reyna was in the Twin Cities to promote an Aug. 2 match at TCF Bank Stadium between Manchester City and Olympiakos. You’ll find here a couple photos we took to mark the occasion.

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Chicago Cubs - WP: B. Parker 6 FINAL
Cincinnati - LP: J. Hoover 4
Philadelphia - WP: D. Buchanan 9 FINAL
Milwaukee - LP: M. Garza 1
Oakland - WP: S. Kazmir 6 FINAL
San Francisco - LP: T. Hudson 1
Chicago WSox - LP: R. Belisario 3 FINAL
Boston - WP: A. Miller 4
Washington - LP: G. Gonzalez 3 FINAL
Baltimore - WP: W. Chen 4
NY Yankees - LP: M. Thornton 3 FINAL
Cleveland - WP: C. Carrasco 9
Atlanta - WP: A. Harang 3 FINAL
NY Mets - LP: B. Colon 1
Pittsburgh - WP: E. Volquez 9 FINAL
St. Louis - LP: S. Miller 1
LA Angels - WP: H. Santiago 15 FINAL
Texas - LP: C. Lewis 6
Detroit - WP: D. Smyly 16 FINAL
Kansas City - LP: J. Guthrie 4
San Diego - LP: O. Despaigne 1 FINAL
Los Angeles - WP: C. Kershaw 2
Minnesota 4 Top 8th Inning
Seattle 2
Winnipeg 7/11/14 6:00 PM
Montreal
Ottawa 7/11/14 9:00 PM
Edmonton
Calgary 7/12/14 5:30 PM
Toronto
Brt Columbia 7/12/14 8:30 PM
Saskatchewan
Edmonton 7/17/14 7:30 PM
Winnipeg
Toronto 7/18/14 6:00 PM
Ottawa
Hamilton 7/18/14 9:00 PM
Calgary
Montreal 7/19/14 6:00 PM
Brt Columbia
Connecticut 68 FINAL
Indiana 72
Minnesota 91 FINAL
Tulsa 85

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