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Michael Rand started RandBall with hopes that he could convince the world to love jumpsuits as much as he does. So far, he's only succeeded in using the word "redacted" a lot. He welcomes suggestions, news tips, links of pure genius, and pictures of pets in Halloween costumes here, though he already knows he will regret that last part.

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One woman's quest to eat an infinite amount of mozzarella sticks

Posted by: Michael Rand Updated July 18th at 4:12pm 267702411

America needed a new hero.

A bloated, nauseated hero.

They found her. Her name is Caity Weaver, and her quest was simple:

Last Monday TGI Friday’s unveiled a new promotion (available at many TGI Friday’s locations, but none on the island of Manhattan) whereby customers can gorge themselves on unlimited appetizers—without fear of punishment, embarrassment, or ostracization—for a one-time payment of $10. The promotion is called “Endless Appetizers.”

The day after “Endless Appetizers” was announced, I went to TGI Friday’s in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Sheepshead Bay. I wanted to challenge the hubris of a company co-opting the infinite for a marketing gimmick. I wanted to demand accountability from copywriters.

I wanted to call their bluff and eat appetizers until they kicked me out, to seek the limit of this supposedly limitless publicity stunt.

I soon learned the limit does not exist.

You can imagine what happens next, but you really can’t. Please do go ahead and read her 14-hour mozzarella stick account. Language warning, as if eating apps for 14 hours wouldn’t cause you to swear, too.

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Kansas City - J. Vargas 5:10 PM
Cleveland - C. Kluber
Toronto - A. Sanchez 5:10 PM
Boston - J. Kelly
Chicago WSox - H. Noesi 6:05 PM
Baltimore - U. Jimenez
Tampa Bay - N. Karns 6:05 PM
NY Yankees - A. Warren
Washington - D. Fister 6:10 PM
Atlanta - E. Stults
NY Mets - D. Gee 6:10 PM
Miami - J. Cosart
Milwaukee - J. Nelson 6:10 PM
Cincinnati - J. Marquis
Pittsburgh - V. Worley 7:05 PM
Chicago Cubs - J. Hammel
Seattle - T. Walker 7:05 PM
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Detroit - D. Price 7:10 PM
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St. Louis - J. Lackey
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Atlanta 6:00 PM
Brooklyn
Milwaukee 7:00 PM
Chicago
Memphis 9:30 PM
Portland
Tampa Bay 6:00 PM
Detroit
NY Islanders 6:30 PM
Washington

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